Where have you been?

“Where have you been?”

That’s the question my blogged asked me when I logged into wordpress after ages. It’s right. It has been a while. And I have neglected you too long.

I’ve been busy my friend. I have now pursed a career that actually challenges me. No more learning the system and then beating it at its own game. My new career constantly challenges me in every aspect on a day to day basis, whether it be from my side or from the clients side. But I still love it. Not as much as I miss writing.

I found companionship, and was happy. I lost companionship and I was happier. Its a complicated process that involved what the mortals of this realm call “feelings.” Its a touchy topic that caused the heart to beat faster and the blood to grow harder.

I have decided to spoil myself as well. Owning a large array of clothes and electronics that you have not seen before. It’s a sudden yearn that creates this purchasing instinct that results in flies flying out of my wallet. Speaking of wallets, I got a new one. Brown to remind myself I’m getting old.

I shall visit you again my friend. I plan on removing the wordpress title on your name, to show your independence to the world.  And we shall talk about the journey that I am on now. To find the real me in this little island of ours.

Arrack. The meaning.

The true meaning of Arrack. Thanks to my friends who edited it on Uncyclopedia.

Why A Woman is a Better Wingman

Barney Stinson - God of Wingmen, Creator of the Bro Code

For those of you who have not watched How I Met Your Mother. The term wingman is technically someone who will aid you on a night out on preying on women. The provide many forms of support such as providing testimonials on how great you are, agreeing to anything you say and even taking the fat chick so that you can get with her hot friend.

I have had many wingmen in my life. Some are abroad, some I don’t talk to and even some who’ve gone to the dark side and become committed. But the best wingmen. Are women.

My best friend happens to be a girl. And a smoking hot girl if I might say. Standing at 5″10 with a body that gets her on runways and armed with a smile that gets everyone in its vicinity to look down at their feet. The two of us normally have a tendency to go out. Now she being a Wingwoman (WW) even if she is committed it really doesn’t make a difference. Unless of course the girl you want is already with a guy and you will have to initiate an exchange of equal or better quality.

Women make better wingmen for a number of good reasons.

1. They will not steal your target – Unless of course they walk the other way. But that’s very rare. And if they do. Take pictures.

2. Hot friends on a platter – If she is a real WW she will introduce you to her friends. Which is like being given the all you can eat ticket.

3. She can take one for the team – If your target does come with an ugly friend or an annoying friend or a party pooper. A WW is the ideal person to take the bullet. Sending a male into this equation will only speed up the “Lets go home process cause I’m sick of something.” But with a WW she will talk to the secondary and being women they will talk the problem while you can work the target.

4. Reverse Polarity – A WW has the ability to cast a reverse polarity effect. Where all the surrounding men will be pulled towards her. Leaving the women alone and pissed. Which makes them vulnerable to other men.

5. Jealousy – Having a WW is great to make other girls jealous. A quick 10 minute dirty dancing session on the dance floor will give your target an eyebrow raiser. Before doing something like this you must be sure to have made a few moves on the target. Giving her hope. Then the dirty dancing will crush the brief hope you gave her. Then when she’s all angry giver her the whole that girl meant nothing to me line. Or whatever you feel like giving.

So if you do have a female friend who doesn’t mind you being a guy and preying on her own kind. Take her along. And Try it out!

Disclaimer:  All the above methods have been tried and tested by Ahamed Nizar. The end results may change due to a large range of reasons such as number of drinks, number of friends,  your confidence level, moods, PMS, swagga etc.

New Beginning

At this very moment I’m at my brand new job. Its my first day. And we’ll its kinda weird. Having worked at one of the largest companies in the country working here is just weird.
Last time when I joined. I joined with a batch of 20 people 3 of whom stayed till the end of the road. This I join alone and at a designation that gives me authority. But I feel like I haven’t earned it. Yet. The work load is more strategic and theoretic as well as practical. So its quite a lot to input and output. The processing part depends on if I’ve had my morning share of caffeine or not.
Working at a smaller company makes things smoother. Shorter ques for getting anything done and less noise at office. My colleagues are yet to speak to me. I know 2 of their names but that’s it. Its a tech oriented firm so they are of that background and thus spend more time typing and looking at the screen than socializing. I’ve been hired to do the tech part as well as the socializing. The hybrid of sorts. Though I don’t think we’ll be getting set for any office gatherings with a bottle. Maybe a tech talk about the new iphone OS.

But its a new beginning and that’s always a good thing. You can still swim in the deep end with your fingers crossed…

What Women wear matter to some men!

Most men don’t normally care what women wear as long as its easy to remove. But for some guys like me and my colleague it really matters.
I’m from a very fashionable family. Our family business is in the fashion industry and so from a young age I have been trained to dress well and to look down on people who don’t dress properly. As said before in an older post point number 3, I always look for a women who can dress well. Doesn’t matter what body shape she is and what she likes. It all depends on how she can pull it off.

So my colleague D meets this girl who’s been dying to jump his bones for months for lunch. Before going we had a focus session where I gave him tips on how to make sure he shoots that basket through the hoop without facing a rejection or worse, an air ball. I don’t bother asking him about his date until the next day when he shows me a message.
Lets break it down. This girl really likes him and has never felt this way about another guy before and she really wants this relationship to go further than what it is now. She even said she loved him and then said afterward “There I said it!” Like saying it once wasn’t enough. And then she was like after the way you acted yesterday between you and me I don’t think I can ever talk to you again. You were so cold to me and something was off about you. But I can’t be treated this way and blah blah and more PMS.

I asked D what happened. He was like well it was what she was wearing. Apparently the white top she was wearing had pissed him off. It had ruffles on it. Something like this:

So the reason their relationship didn’t go to the next level and the reason that they could not be another happy couple was cause of Ruffles.

Looks and personality also play the part in being an awesome girl. But then don’t the best products in life come in a sexy package?

Move Along

The process where I’m working is shutting down so the big shots have given us two choices:

Be absorbed into the company. Or go home.

I chose option B. There is no way that I’m going to work for these idiots again. Especially at the positions they are offering. Not to mention the pay and the fact that there will be no growth! I’m supposed to meet HR in a couple of hours to talk some things out. I’m just going to ask them if they’ve credited my money to my bank account. Yeah life’s like that. I’m happy to leave but I’m quite bitter about the fact is that they didn’t notify us when our last day was. It was supposed to be tonight but they call us in the morning and inform us that it was yesterday. So we never got to do the things we planned on doing. Like bombing the place.

But good news and the most recent update would be that I actually have a new job offer! Something that I like doing. Something that will actually take place. Starting next month that is. And I can’t wait.

Rose Tinted Bite

I love to eat. I have proof. My size. So I though why not start blogging about places to eat. I mean I do have the tendency to drive all the way to Galle to eat pizza on a Sunday so that is something worth writing about.

I always tend to have these “Harold and Kumar” moments for any meal of the day. Or even just for a snack. I’m actually craving a Sugar Daddy right now and am planning on driving to Odel to sink my teeth into one.

I started food blogging ages ago. I blogged about Burgers King before it became this popular. Read here.

So what do you think? Shall I share my secrets of the best Pizza in Sri Lanka? Or where to find Hot Butter Cuttle Fish burgers for 150 bucks?

Shall I start the Rose Tinted Bite?